Nothing else, how profound a statement. Nothing else but Jesus. Something so seemingly simple, but charged with so much weight. Total death to self and surrender, a posture of humility beyond what I can conceive comes naturally to anyone.

Our human nature so easily and quickly creeps into things when we aren’t totally aware and guarded. Even in the best of intentions and circumstances, feeling totally engulfed in the idea of what I am called to, my tendencies have a way of becoming present even in the abandon of following a call.

Have you ever clearly felt God speaking to you through another human? Not in a sermon, podcast, or group setting, but in a one-on-one conversation? So clearly and intentionally, there is no way to misconstrue what was being relayed to you? It’s only happened to me twice in my life in such a clear manner but in two totally different fashions.

The first time this happened, it was one of the most defining and clarifying moments in my walk with the Lord. I was struggling so hard, and the things spoken to me at that moment are words I have clung to ever since.

It happened again to me today, but I felt called to the mat, so to speak. I felt humbled, and my whole mindset was shifted within a matter of minutes. You wouldn’t think this felt like a good thing, but I can’t tell you how affirming it is to be in a place of correction instead of a place of reassurance.

I spent so much of my early walk with Christ questioning the calling I was hearing, which I think is natural, but it meant I wasn’t moving very far, very fast.

In this instance, hearing directly what my heart didn’t know it needed from a completely unexpected place while a little stunning at the moment, just pushed me even deeper into being in awe of God. A God so loving and caring that He would work so many things in favor of direction. It’s astounding and incredible.

That He knows my heart so well to understand exactly what to put in place to provide life-giving conviction. I know that sounds contradictory, but hang with me, I recently heard Sadie Robertson Huff speak on not allowing conviction to bring shame. She spoke to how often with conviction from the Holy Spirit, we allow guilt and shame to overshadow the joy we should feel in being blessed with a Holy Spirit living within us.

How unusual of a thought; that there can be joy in conviction. But, to understand you have to know joy is not happiness. The joy comes from a place deep in your heart not thankful that whatever occurred that needed conviction, but gratitude for the idea that we get the opportunity to be fully connected with our savior, living in a sanctification process continually molding us to look more and more like him. Praise God for the Holy Spirit.

All that to say, our “self” getting in the way doesn’t quiet the call of the Lord; it just may shift the motivations or the focus. My perfectionism and innate hunger to perform and get gold stars doesn’t change the mission and path set before me; it simply requires a consistent heart check to test the next step. My desire to be a cornerstone of a movement or a significant in the grand scheme of it all does not negate the part I get to play in the true Kingdom work, it just humbles my role and resets my focus that the only cornerstone and significant player is the Lord Himself.

And what a relief that is. To know it isn’t up to me. To know I won’t be judged eternally by the fickle opinions and thoughts of my fellow humans. To know that I don’t have to figure out my next move to make sure it falls in line with a greater plan to bring glory. To know that the true change and movement isn’t dependent on me and my ability to “get it right”. To know that I am covered completely by the blood of Jesus and at its core, my calling is simple relationship with the Lord and an obedient heart to let Him lead. What a blessing.